3 Times I Told a Seller 'No'

When did "yes" become the only acceptable answer in real estate?

There I was, sitting across from a couple who'd already mentally spent their proceeds. They had the Zillow estimate pulled up on their phone, the retirement condo bookmarked, and that look in their eyes—the one that says they've already decided, and they're just looking for someone to validate the decision.

And I was about to tell them no.

Not because I didn't want their business. Not because I'm some sort of contrarian who enjoys being difficult. But because saying "yes" to the wrong listing at the wrong time is like watching someone step off a curb into traffic and saying nothing. Sure, you could argue it's not your job to grab their arm. But what kind of person—what kind of agent—would I be if I just said what they wanted to hear, only to disappoint later?

Here's the thing about real estate: the most valuable thing an agent can do isn't always getting you into a transaction. Sometimes it's keeping you out of one.

Reason #1: The Market Was Screaming "Wait"

This particular couple wanted to list their Santa Cruz Mountains home in late November. You know, right when buyer traffic drops off a cliff and everyone's focused on turkey and travel plans instead of touring properties. Their reasoning? They wanted to be "ahead of the spring market."

Look, truthfully sometimes that IS the right strategy. BUT not for their particular property. 

The numbers told the story. Homes in their price range that listed in November sat an average of 87 days before going into contract, compared to 32 days for spring listings. Their carrying costs during that time? About $4,500 monthly. That's $13,500 in additional expenses for the privilege of listing early, not to mention the psychological wear of watching your home sit while you convince yourself it's "just the season."

But here's where it gets interesting. By waiting until February for their home type, we caught the wave of remote workers relocating after holiday decisions were made and Q1 bonuses hit accounts. We had three offers in the first week, and the home sold for $47,000 over asking.

Had they listed in November at their initial price point and sat through the slow season, we would have been forced into a price reduction by January—right when buyer perception would have been at its worst. "Oh, this is that house that's been sitting forever" is not the narrative you want buyers building in their minds.

Total savings by waiting: approximately $60,000 in avoided price reductions, plus the carrying costs we didn't incur. All because I said no to an emotionally-driven timeline.

Sometimes this isn't the strategy to use, but in this case... it was. 

Reason #2: The Price They Wanted

Let's talk about something uncomfortable: seller attachment versus market reality.

I had a seller who'd renovated their kitchen five years ago. Beautiful work. Custom cabinets, high-end appliances, the whole nine yards. They'd spent $85,000 on it, and in their mind, that meant their home was worth $85,000 more than comparable properties.

Here's what I had to explain: the market doesn't care what you spent. It cares what buyers will pay.

Those custom cabinets? Gorgeous, but they were a very specific aesthetic that appealed to maybe 20% of our buyer pool. The high-end appliances? Great, but standard in their price range. They weren't a differentiator; they were table stakes.

When I ran the comps, the data was clear: their home, priced where they wanted it, would be the most expensive property per square foot in their neighborhood by 11%. Not a great position to be in unless you're selling something genuinely unique. And compared to the other sales, their kitchen design honestly, was not all that unique. 

I told them no. Not "no, I won't list it," but "no, I won't list it at that price."

This is where the relationship could have ended. Many sellers at this point go find an agent who'll tell them what they want to hear. But here's what I've learned: people don't actually want yes-men. They want someone who respects them enough to tell them the truth, even when it's hard to hear.

We spent the next hour talking through the psychology of buyer behavior. How properties priced 8-10% above market sit. How price reductions too quickly signal desperation. How their first two weeks on market are the most critical, and you only get one chance to make that first impression.

We listed $65,000 below their initial number. They were nervous, I won't lie. But here's what happened: we created a bidding war. Seven offers. The final sale price? WAY above asking, plus we got there in 12 days instead of 120.

More importantly, they avoided the emotional toll of watching their home sit. Of second-guessing every decision. Of that sinking feeling when you reduce the price and still hear crickets.

The "loss" from their original expectation? Worth every penny for the speed, certainty, and peace of mind we gained. Not to mention we avoided the carrying costs and likely price reductions that would have happened if we'd started high and chased the market down.

Reason #3: They Weren't Actually Ready (Even Though They Thought They Were)

This one's the hardest conversation to have, because it requires telling someone something they don't want to hear about themselves.

I had a potential client call me, ready to list immediately. Their mom had passed away six months prior, and they'd inherited her home. They wanted it sold quickly—they lived out of state, the carrying costs were adding up, and they were ready to move forward.

Except they weren't.

Within the first ten minutes of our conversation, it became clear: they hadn't processed anything. They were talking about selling "mom's house" as if it were just a transaction, but their voice cracked when they mentioned her garden. They'd left everything exactly as it was—her clothes still in the closet, her photos still on the walls, her coffee mug still on the kitchen counter.

I could have listed that house. Taken the listing agreement, called estate liquidators, scheduled my photographer, and had it on the market by the end of the month.

But here's what would have happened: they would have had a breakdown the moment buyers started walking through their mom's space, commenting on what needed to be updated, talking about knocking down walls or painting over her favorite color.

I told them no—not forever, just not yet.

Instead, I connected them with an estate specialist and professional organizer who could help them sort through belongings with care and intention. I recommended they take another month or two to process the loss before making major financial decisions. I explained that rushing this sale wouldn't make the grief go away; it would just add regret on top of it. And for this particular home, waiting a few more months wouldn't make them lose out on the price they wanted. 

Three months later, they called me back. They'd worked through things. They'd kept what mattered, donated what would help others, and were ready to see the property as an asset rather than a shrine. We listed it, and it sold quickly and cleanly, without the emotional landmines that would have detonated if we'd rushed.

Could they have saved three months of carrying costs by listing immediately? Sure—about $9,000 worth. But the emotional cost of rushing that process? Incalculable. And honestly, sellers who aren't emotionally ready often sabotage their own sales without realizing it—rejecting reasonable offers, being inflexible about terms, or simply radiating an energy that makes buyers uncomfortable.

A Pattern I've Noticed

After nine years in this business, here's what I've learned: the agents who'll say yes to anything are playing a short game. They're chasing transaction volume, not building client relationships. They're optimizing for commission checks, not for outcomes.

Saying "no" when appropriate has actually grown my business, not shrunk it. Because when I do say yes, clients know it means something. They know I've evaluated their situation, considered the variables, and determined that moving forward is genuinely in their best interest.

And when things go well—when we price it right and it sells quickly, when we time it correctly and catch the perfect buyer, when we wait until they're ready and the transaction is smooth—they don't just remember that I helped them sell their house. They remember that I cared enough to tell them the truth, even when it delayed my own paycheck.

Those are the clients who refer their friends. Who come back when they're ready to buy again. Who leave reviews that talk about integrity and trust, not just speed and service.

So When Should You Say No?

If you're a seller reading this and wondering if I'm going to tell you no, here's my framework:

I'll say no if listing now will cost you money you don't need to lose. I'll say no if your expectations are so far from market reality that we're setting ourselves up for disappointment. I'll say no if you're making a major financial decision from a place of emotional reactivity rather than strategic clarity. Ultimately my 'no' is a suggestion, it's your property and you still call the shots at the end of the day. 

But I'll say yes the moment the timing is right, the price is strategic, and you're emotionally prepared for what comes next.

Because here's the secret: real estate isn't just about buying and selling properties. It's about making sure the biggest financial decisions of your life are made from a place of clarity, strategy, and confidence—not pressure, emotion, or wishful thinking.

And sometimes, the best way to get to yes is to start with no.

Ready to work with an agent who'll tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear? Let's talk about your real estate goals and whether now is the right time to move forward. Because I'm not here to just take listings—I'm here to help you make smart decisions that protect your wealth and your peace of mind.