Three times this month, I've ended consultations with "I don't think you should list your home right now."

Two of those people looked relieved. One looked confused (and probably called another agent). Stay with me here- I make money when you sell. My entire business model depends on transactions. So when I tell you NOT to sell, it's not because I don't want your listing.

It's because selling would be a mistake. And after nearly a decade in this business, I've learned that the clients who become raving fans aren't the ones I helped sell quickly. They're the ones I saved from bad decisions.

8 EXAMPLES OF WHEN SELLING IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE IDEA

1. YOU'RE SELLING TO SOLVE A PROBLEM THAT MOVING WON'T FIX

The conversation usually starts like this: "We need a fresh start."

But when I dig deeper:

- The issue is relationship problems

- The stress is work-related

- The dissatisfaction is existential

- The restlessness is about life stage, not location

Moving won't fix these. You'll just be having the same problems in a different zip code, minus $50K in transaction costs.

Red flag phrases I listen for:

- "Maybe a change of scenery will help us..."

- "I just need to get away from..."

- "Everything will be better once we..."

These are escape fantasies, not moving plans.

I had a client convinced selling their mountain home would save their marriage. I suggested therapy first, home sale second. They got divorced anyway, but at least they didn't also waste $80K on a panic sale.

2. YOU'RE MAKING AN EMOTIONAL DECISION IN THE MIDDLE OF GRIEF

I get it. After someone dies, the house feels different. Empty. Haunted by memories. Your first instinct might be: "I need to sell immediately."

But here's what I've observed: People who sell within 6 months of losing a spouse almost always regret the timeline.

They:

- Accept lower offers because they're emotionally fragile

- Make poor decisions about where to move next

- Sell belongings they later wish they'd kept

- Rush into new situations they're not ready for

The grief doesn't go away when you sell the house. It just gets mixed with regret about rushing.

What I recommend: Give it a year. If you still want to sell in 12 months, the house will still be there. But at least you'll be making the decision from a more stable emotional state.

3. THE MARKET IS TERRIBLE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL

There are seasons when the market is objectively bad for sellers:

- High inventory, low demand

- Rising interest rates killing buyer qualification

- Economic uncertainty making buyers hesitant

- Your specific property type is saturated

If you don't HAVE to sell right now, why would you choose the worst possible timing?

I had sellers insist on listing in November (worst month) in a buyer's market, during the holidays. They were shocked when it sat for 4 months.

Same house, listed in March? Multiple offers, sold over asking. Sometimes the best move is patience.

4. YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO SELL

Yes. Selling costs money. What's that old saying... it costs money to make money.

Transaction costs typically can run 7-10% of sale price:

- Agent commissions: ~5-6%

- Closing costs: ~1-2%

- Repairs/improvements: varies

- Moving costs: varies

On a $900K home, you're looking at $63,000-90,000 in costs to sell.

If you don't have equity to cover these costs AND enough left over for your next move, you can't actually afford to sell.

I've had people discover mid-process that selling would leave them with nowhere to go and no money to get there.

Do the math BEFORE you commit. We do this math together during a formal listing consultation before discussing a listing agreement! 

5. YOU'RE UPGRADING INTO A MORE EXPENSIVE MARKET

This is the trap I see most often:

You sell your Brookdale home for $800K. You want to buy in Scotts Valley for similar space. That's $1.4M minimum.

Your $800K just became $400K in purchasing power (after transaction costs). Now you need a $800K loan at current interest rates.

Your monthly payment went from $2,500 (on your paid-off mountain home) to $5,800 (on your new mortgage).

Congratulations, you just destroyed your financial freedom to get slightly closer to Trader Joe's.

Unless that trade-off genuinely improves your life, don't do it.

6. YOU'RE SELLING BECAUSE ZILLOW TOLD YOU YOUR HOME'S WORTH MORE

We already covered this in the Zillow post, but it bears repeating:

Zillow's estimate is not an offer.

It's not a guarantee.

It's not even particularly accurate.

Selling because Zillow says your home increased in value, without understanding actual market conditions, is how you end up disappointed. Do the real research or don't sell.

7. YOUR NEXT MOVE ISN'T CLEAR

"We'll figure it out after we sell."

No. No, no, no.

Unless you have:

- A clear plan for where you're going

- A realistic timeline

- A backup option if Plan A falls through

- Enough resources to bridge any gap

Do not sell.

The stress of being houseless while trying to find your next place, potentially in a competitive market, while your sale proceeds sit burning a hole in your account, is EXTREME.

I've watched it break people. Plan your landing before you jump.

8. YOU'RE TRYING TO "TIME THE PEAK"

Here's a secret: Nobody knows when the peak is until after it's passed.

If you're trying to sell at the absolute perfect moment for maximum value, you're going to drive yourself insane and probably miss decent opportunities while waiting for perfect ones.

The best time to sell is when:

- It serves your life goals

- Market conditions are reasonable

- You have a clear next step

- The decision makes sense long-term

Not when you think you've identified the market peak.

THE QUESTIONS I ASK INSTEAD

When someone contacts me about selling, I ask:

1. "Why now?"

If the answer is thoughtful and specific, we're probably good. If it's vague or emotion-driven, we need to dig deeper.

2. "Where are you going?"

If you don't know, we're not ready.

3. "What's your timeline?"

If it's "as soon as possible" without a good reason, that's a red flag.

4. "What happens if you don't sell?"

If the answer is "nothing terrible," then maybe you shouldn't sell.

5. "Have you run the numbers?"

Transaction costs, tax implications, your next purchase, monthly payment changes - all of it.

6. "Is this a decision or a reaction?"

Decisions are thoughtful. Reactions are emotional. I want to help you with decisions.

THE CONSULTATION THAT COSTS ME MONEY

Last month, I met with a couple ready to sell their Boulder Creek home. After two hours of conversation, I told them: "I think you should renovate your kitchen instead."

They were surprised. I was costing myself a $25K commission.

But here's why:

- They loved their location

- They loved their neighbors

- Their kids were in good schools

- Their only complaint was an outdated kitchen

- The market would reward a kitchen reno more than their current condition

- Selling would push them into a market where they couldn't afford equivalent space

Maanwhile, a $40K kitchen renovation would:

- Solve their actual problem

- Increase their home value by ~$60K

- Keep them in a community they loved

- Avoid $70K in transaction costs

Net result: $90K better off than if they'd sold. They renovated. They're still there. They're thrilled.

And when they DO eventually sell (maybe in 5-7 years when kids are out of school), they'll call me. Because I told them the truth instead of chasing a commission.

WHEN YOU SHOULD SELL (FOR CONTRAST)

Just to be clear, I'm not anti-selling. I'm anti-bad-decisions.

You SHOULD sell when:

- Your home no longer serves your actual needs

- You have a clear, better alternative

- Market conditions are reasonable

- Your finances support the move

- Your timeline is realistic

- You've processed the emotional elements

- The decision has been thoughtful, not reactive

- You're moving toward something, not away from something

These are purposeful transitions. And I'm here for those all day long.

THE TRUTH ABOUT MY JOB

I don't just sell houses. I help people make good decisions about housing.

Sometimes that means helping you sell.

Sometimes that means helping you stay.

Sometimes that means helping you buy.

Sometimes that means helping you wait.

The agents who only know how to push transactions? They're not serving you. They're serving themselves.

I'd rather have you as a future client who trusts me than a current client who regrets working with me.

So before you call an agent, ask yourself:

• "If I wave a magic wand and I'm in my ideal housing situation in 5 years, what does that look like?"
• If your answer is "exactly where I am now, but with a better kitchen"—you don't need to sell.
• If your answer is "somewhere completely different for these specific reasons"—maybe you do.

But be honest. Not with me. With yourself.

I couldn't help but wonder... What if the best move sometimes means staying exactly where you are?

P.S. — If you're reading this thinking "but I really DO need to sell," let's talk.

I promise I'll tell you if you actually do or don't. That's literally my job.